THE FORMULA FOR GOOD RELATIONSHIPS
Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.
James 1:19-20 NLT
Here is a great formula for having good relationships and being liked by others— “be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.”
This contrasts with our society’s motto of being quick to speak, slow to listen, and quick to get angry. This motto has led to unprecedented division, distrust, and brokenness in our society.
I’m convinced most people are poor listeners. Instead of listening to understand, we want to talk to be understood. Stephen Covey says, “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”
I have been working on “active listening.” This involves not just listening to the words spoken but the tone and the body language. Those who study communication tell us that only 7% of communication is words, 35% is tone, and 55% is body language. Therefore, it is critical to pay attention to tone and body language.
I have been working to train myself to ask powerful questions. Powerful questions can’t be answered with a yes or no, they require thought and open the door for better understanding. You can’t ask powerful questions unless you are listening to what someone is saying.
When I listen to what is being said I discover powerful questions to help me understand the person better. The better I understand the person the harder it is to get angry. Better communication means better relationships.
The Holy Spirit wants to help us be good listeners. He wants to teach us to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.
Holy Spirit I need Your help. I need to learn to listen better, speak less, and control my emotions.
” Scroll down to share what you feel God is saying based on today’s reading.”